Falling Into Nothing
by koyasufan
Summary: [Slight AU] A phone call from a groggy Manx brings Birman into the heart of danger, a fact that she doesn't realize until after it's over. [Takes place during ep. 15. SchuBirman.]


_Insert standard disclaimers here. Not mine, never will be, etc., etc., etc._

_Edited 12/29/04 for minor formatting issues. _

**Falling Into Nothing**

"Where are you going?"

Schuldig shrugged at the man sitting in the chair near the window of the room that they were supposed to be relaxing in. "Out for a bit. I'm bored," he replied with a shrug. He turned slightly, cutting off his view of the American as he moved towards the door.

"Try the fifth floor..."

Schuldig looked back over his shoulder at Crawford with an eyebrow arched in curiosity. "Maybe I will," he almost smiled. Crawford nodded slightly. So he knew. Like there was a way to hide anything from the other man. He wasn't sure if it was a comfort or not that Crawford knew where he was going and why.

_"You're playing with fire."_

He closed the door behind him with a nod at the two men that were leaning against the wall nearby. Crawford's words echoed through his mind unbidden yet again. There was truth in them. If Esset knew even a hint of what their leader knew, he would suddenly find himself in a very undesirable situation.

Esset didn't believe in love.

And they didn't believe in treating traitors with mercy.

_But it's not love. And it's not like either of us is giving up any secrets, so I'm not a traitor. And I can always just tell them that I was looking for information about our enemies..._

His hand had just reached to touch the button to signal the elevator that he wanted to go down when the thought of what they'd do to her if they found out about her slipped into his own. Death would be a lucky escape from that.

He shook his head briefly in an attempt to clear it of the thoughts that he was having, but it didn't get rid of them completely. It was hard to get rid of the image of his kitten being broken like that. The wonderful little kitten that had curled up in his arms at that political function four months earlier...

The elevator dinged to indicate its arrival on the floor, and he pulled himself out of his musings slowly as the doors opened. Two more SDF men were standing to the side, rifles resting against their shoulders. He smirked slightly as he stepped into the car. Not much different than East Germany before the country was reunified right now. "Reizender Tag, nicht ist es?" he commented off-handedly as the doors closed again and he reached to press the button for the fifth floor. The men looked at him for a moment before turning back to their own whispered conversation. _Not much different at all. But at least we knew what we had to deal with.._

One of the Prime Minister's interfering bodyguards. That was the thought that he picked up from one of the men. That and something about him learning the language if he were going to stay in the country. He smirked at them as he rested against the wall of the elevator car. One of the beauties of his gift was that it was a lot easier to read thoughts in another language than understand the spoken language. Not that it mattered. He was fluent enough...

Seventh floor...sixth. His lips curled into a touch of a smile. Fifth. "My floor," he grinned at the two men as the doors opened, and he stepped out. He caught a trailing thought of shock and annoyance at his choice of words. Their language was so fun for it's different levels of 'politeness'. It made it too easy to play with them.

He closed his eyes and focused on the thoughts he had felt earlier. She was nearby, and arguing with someone. Arguing over credentials.

He opened his eyes quickly and with a soft gasp. She had her gun on her. The fact that she was here had worried him enough, but if she had her gun, then she was looking to do something that was uncharacteristically foolish.

**xxxxx**

"I'm authorized to carry that!"

"Sorry, Takaoka-san, not here you aren't. Prime Minister's orders," the young man holding Birman's gun replied with a shake of his head. She growled low in her throat. That just messed up her whole plan.

A groggy Manx had called her to warn her that Shuuichi was probably up to something foolish--like trying to get rid of his brother on his own. That's what had brought her here. The whole place would descend on him as soon as he pulled the gun, and even if he had managed to kill his brother, he'd still be killed himself in the best scenario. In the worst, he'd end up in prison and a disgrace to his own family where honor would dictate that he still die so that his family could regain their honor.

Yet Reiji had done so much more to destroy the Takatori name...

Birman tossed her head in the best indignant pose that she could manage right now. "And when something happens to the Prime Minister because you took my gun, I'll make sure every paper and news report in the country knows that you were the one who took my gun and prevented me from doing my job," she snapped at the soldier.

He seemed to be considering that when the doorknob rattled a bit. They both looked over as the door opened. Birman held her breath in as she saw Reiji's German bodyguard step into view. He looked at her briefly before stepping to stand beside the young man holding her gun. "Some catch," he smirked briefly, plucking the gun out of the other's hands.

"You're overstepping your authority!"

Schuldig didn't reply as he looked the gun over, seeming to be playing with it for a second, before he released the ammunition clip and handed that over to the younger man. "Go back to your guard duties. I'll take care of her," he nodded quietly. "Shame that the younger Takatori has to resort to sending his aide to do his dirty work." He took another step, this time towards Birman as the other man left the room with obvious reluctance.

"Bastard. He'll die now thanks to you!" Birman yelled out as soon as she managed to find her voice.

Schuldig didn't reply at first, moving past her to lay the gun on a small table. "You'll die if I let you do what you were planning to."

"So?" She turned to face him. He could feel the anger building inside of her as he moved away from the table and the gun.

"So I'd hate to have to bury you with your family," he murmured, turning back to face her.

"Everyone dies. Better me than..." She frowned and closed her mouth.

"Than Takatori Shuuichi? Do you really think he's that important to the world? More important than you are?"

Birman ducked her head and stared at the floor for a long moment. "Yes, he is. I can't very well fill in for him. And if he manages to get to Reiji like Ha--Manx thinks he will, he'll either be killed or disgraced."

Schuldig watched her silently. It baffled him that she actually believed what she was saying. Or that she'd give her life away so willingly. _I won't let you die like that._

He watched her head snap up as she stared at him. That was all the confirmation he needed that she heard the thought he had projected at her. It confused her. He suppressed a laugh at that thought. It didn't make any more sense to him, and it was his thought.

It only took a moment for the confusion to fade, and for her to realize that she had a clear path to her gun. "There's a bullet in the chamber, Kyoko, but you'll have to use it on me if you want to get out of here. Then you'll have nothing for Reiji."

She stopped where she was with those words, a hand resting on the gun and the table.

She was thinking about it, and that scared him just a little. He thought he had read her well enough to know that she wouldn't hurt him. But he hadn't dealt with her in a business situation before. There was the political party for Reiji earlier in the year, but that wasn't the same as a situation like this where her boss was in danger.

"Reiji will kill him if he's given a chance."

"And he'll kill you, too. I'm sorry. I know who I want to protect. I'm not letting you die for nothing." He moved closer to her, reaching a hand out to touch her shoulder. Birman started at that touch, turning to face him as he leaned down to catch her in a kiss. _I know enough to know when something's precious...when it should be protected._

She pulled away from him. "Shu, don't do this."

"Do what? Keep you from killing yourself?" He laughed softly. "Not a chance. I like these meetings too much." He let his hand trail up from her shoulder to tug on her hair. "Go home, Kyoko."

She ducked her head away from him, fingers starting to curl around the gun. "I can't," she barely managed to whisper.

This wasn't working. He could see that much even without his talent. "Yes, you can. Just go home and don't worry about whatever happens here." Her hand clenched the handle of the gun, and he heard the same words repeating in her mind. _I can't...I can't. I can't leave him to die..._

His reaction time had to have been slowed from concentrating on making her want to leave. It was the only way he could have explained how he suddenly found himself staring at the wrong end of her gun. "I can't let him die, and if it means I have to go through you to see that happen..."

"Tch." Schuldig almost laughed as he straightened himself to his full height. "You were the last person that I wanted to do this to..." He narrowed his eyes at her. _I'm sorry, kitten. You have to believe that I never wanted to do this to you._

**xxxxx**

"I doubt they would have cared if she had killed him," Crawford murmured from where he was standing at the window beside Schuldig. A soft 'hn' was the telepath's only reply. "You're pulling her closer to the flames as well, you know. And don't tell me that you'll make her forget about you. I doubt you could ever forget about her."

"I could make myself. I've done it before," Schuldig murmured in reply.

Crawford made a sound that could have almost been a laugh. "How many of them are still alive?"

Schuldig shrugged. "One or two, I'd guess. You going to try and make me feel guilty over that?"

"Do I have to?" Schuldig turned to face Crawford silently. "If you want her, be prepared to lose her. She's the enemy, and even though you might forget that--even though _I_ might forget that--we both know that _they_ won't."

"What do you see, Brad?" Schuldig stared quietly at his leader, blue eyes almost seeming to search for something...a hint, a crack in the walls...something.

Crawford's mouth twitched in an attempt at a faint smile. "A lot of things, Schuldig. And if I told them to you, I doubt you'd be able to handle it."

"Wouldn't I?"

"No, you wouldn't. Not until you could understand that what I see are only possibilities, not fact, until they happen."

Schuldig shrugged again, turning back to the window. "Or maybe you're just afraid that you'll be wrong," he smirked crookedly while he seemed to stare at his own reflection.

"And maybe you're afraid that I'll be right." Crawford stared out the window with his teammate in open silence. _Every step you take closer to her, I see you both closer to the flames. I don't know what it means yet, but I know you're in danger. And if I thought disciplining you would help, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but..._

_But?_ Schuldig's one eyebrow arched in curiosity. _Afraid I'd mount an insurrection against your grand authority?_

Crawford shook his head, pulling his glasses off for a moment and staring at them, looking for the spot that must have been interrupting his vision. _No. I'm afraid you'd do something even more foolish than what you're doing now and get yourself killed faster._

They both turned as the door into the room they were in opened to let in Reiji Takatori and several SDF men. _He's planning on locking us in here. _ Schuldig started to move, but Crawford caught his wrist and shook his head again.

_Pick your battles better. Even with his orders, I doubt that we'll be here long._ Crawford felt the restlessness in his teammate's body through their touch. The German's shields must have been weak for him to feel those kinds of emotions. Then they seemed to calm down a bit.

_Right. We better not be._

**xxxxx**

Birman yawned and stretched a bit before snuggling back into the pillows that her head was resting on. She started with the thought that the pillows brought into her still sleepy mind. How did she get somewhere with pillows?

More importantly, where was she?

Brown eyes slowly opened to take in her surroundings. She was either home, or else someone had made a remarkable replica of her own bedroom right down to the battered old stuffed cat that sat on the little perch at the window. And the live cat that was right beside it. "Takeshi," she called to the blue Abyssinian. The cat responded by looking over at her with a soft 'meow', He hopped off the perch only to reappear beside her on the bed a moment later. "Hey you. So how long have I been here?" She reached out from under the sheet to scratch his ears.

_"I'm sorry, kitten."_

Schuldig...what had he done? And how did she get back home? She could remember those words in her mind, then...

There was a memory of a rush of emotions and thoughts that weren't hers, a voice telling her that she just wanted to go home and get some sleep, and a feeling of warmth. What had happened? What had Schuldig done to her?

"More importantly, what ever happened to Persia?"

Takeshi mewed in a reply, pouncing from where he was sitting to the pillows as Birman pushed herself up to her elbows. She was afraid to go look at the news this morning, but she had to know.

She had to know if Manx's fears had been justified or if the whole encounter last night had been for nothing.

"You want breakfast, Takeshi, or are you going to steal my pillows now?"

The Abyssinian looked at her blankly from where he had curled up on the pillows as she sat up and let her legs drop over the side of the bed to the floor. She had to face the day. No matter what it would bring, she had to face it. That was how she lived. That was the only way she had gotten through her parents' murder and then Nagoya Takeshi's.

"My name is Birman; that's all you need to know," she murmured to herself as she pushed herself to her feet then made her way into the living area. She powered on the television and changed the channel to one that would have news at this hour. It was late compared to when she usually woke up, but if anyone had noticed that she wasn't at work right now, they hadn't called.

The privilege of rank, she mused as she continued to the separated area that was her kitchen. She reported only to Takatori Shuuichi, after all.

There was a weather report running on the television as she picked a can of soup out of a cupboard. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of eating prepared food again before putting it back and turning her attention to the refrigerator. There had to be something that she could actually cook for a change.

"...and the offices of the Liberal Democratic Party were attacked last night by unknown assailants in what turned out to be a successful assassination attempt on newly appointed Prime Minister, Takatori Reiji. Although there was significant damage by the fire that was caused in what police think may have been a distraction, there were few actual casualties. Unfortunately, one of those casualties was the Prime Minister's brother. Minister of Justice Takatori Shuuichi was found shot in his brother's office. Investigators are speculating that he may have died while trying to protect his brother..."

Birman lifted her head at that report, slowly closing the refrigerator door and stepping back into the living area to look at the television. There were images of the fire at the building that she had been in earlier last night. Images of the few that had been there that hadn't been SDF men fleeing the building for safety.

"No. There was no way he would have died for Reiji. If only you people knew..."

"It must also be noted that with the death of the Prime Minister, the search for the group known as 'Weiß' has been stalled. And there's some talk that there's a possibility that the group itself never existed; that it was only a reason for the Prime Minister to enact the martial law that he did..."

The television clicked off as Birman collapsed onto her couch. Shadows moving in the darkness. "White hunters of the darkness, hunt the tomorrows of these dark beasts," she murmured to herself as she closed her eyes. "I won't let it die, sir. I won't let Kritiker die. I don't know how, but I promise you that."

_Owari_

* * *

_Reizender Tag, nicht ist es?_ -- "Lovely day, isn't it?"

Regarding the "politeness" comment just after the above German: Schuldig, of course, used 'ore' in reference to himself when he said 'my floor' in Japanese to the men. It is the the most arrogant (or least polite) word for 'I' (that _I_ know of at least ).


End file.
